Parabolic Heat Transference Case Mod

Wednesday, June 29 2005

Computer equipment, as you may know, produces heat. Sometimes the heat is so excessive that computing performance is hampered by what’s known scientifically as supreme erraticus behavicus as brought about by supreme heaticus.

There are several ways to avoid this problem:

  • Apply raw beef. This is effective only for a while, as eventually normal raw beef turns into something most people would want to eat. People wanting to eat your cooling apparatus is undesirable and frankly, unhealthy.
  • Apply frozen shrimp. There is only one disadvantage to this – children.
  • Purchase expensive jelly and olive oil cooled heat sinks. Some contain water, which is so abundant on the planet Earth that it must surely be useless for anything related to computers, and shouldn’t be considered.
  • Employing gibbons. This new method of cooling computer equipment is still in early experimental stages. Little is known what effect the gibbons have on computer equipment for the long term, but empirical studies have shown that gibbons are often unreliable, and are prone to becoming disgruntled with waving fans at your computer equipment. If not fed, they will die. Dead gibbons attract undesirable creatures and authorities.

The best way, as I’ve found out, is to design a case for the computer equipment that uses the natural laws of physics to effectively deflect all heat particles away from the computer equipment using a simple curved surface and common materials. Please follow along as I outline the steps required to build this, unarguably, perfect computer case.