These kinds of things happen. You write about a gopher building vast and expansive catacombs beneath your lawn and eventually you get in the top results for “gopher exterminator”.
The gopher: he’s dead. Without a doubt. I’m pretty sure I put a lead pellet through his neck, and while I love animals, this one was working towards breaking my ankle. And I didn’t end up spending $225 on having someone come out and poison my lawn.
The real sea change (who uses that term – crazy!) to my gopher problems: Remington Air Rifle with Scope.
If you have gopher issues, buy yourself a nice air rifle and point it at the gopher when you see it and you’re done.