City Noises

Tuesday, April 12 2005

There are big city noises that, when heard during the day have a nice sound to them in one way or another, but at 3AM are poo for the ears.

1. Glass bottles being dumped from a large metal container into a larger metal container. During the day, as I walk past, sounds kind of neat. I think about how each bottle has its own “note” based on the weight of the glass, the shape, its velocity as it moves from one vessel to another. At 3AM it makes me want to peel my skin off.

2. Enormous black man having a furious argument on his cell phone that includes phrases like “I’m tired of the haters” and “can’t keep this brother back” yelled at extreme decibels. The passion and the intimidation factor are super high. Like watching one side of a fantastic boxing match. At 3AM it makes your heart explode and makes you want to hide under a mattress.

3. Colossal explosion sound of completely unknown origins. I love a good, people friendly, explosion. Anything that can shake buildings has my vote in an instant. If, when I was a kid, all authority figures could have some just made a colossal exploding sound, I would have done everything they asked. At 3AM it throws you out of bed and makes you kick like a wild Mustang horse uncontrollably.

4. Screaming ladies, probably hookers. During the day a lady screaming on the street corner about something is someone to respect. Anyone who can escape the clutches of embarrassment in order to further whatever cause they’re furthering is interesting, and typically looks really funny too and is a good alternative to the black jacketed, dirty jeaned, iPod sporting city folk like myself. At 3AM, you plot the trajectory of your hotel room television to where she is still standing, very clearly screaming “crocodile arms” at the top of her lungs which is also attracting more people who enjoy doing things like screaming “crocodile arms” as well.