10 Workplace Rules for the Real World

Wednesday, December 01 2004

I’ve been working from my home office for a while now and I fear I might be losing touch with reality. I’m writing this to my future self so that if the time comes when I must venture out of my home office and work in the real world, I don’t embarrass myself or my family name.

10 Rules that apply in the real world, in case I forget:

1. Talking to yourself in Spanish will only confuse your team.
2. Reduce cat naps. Devise sophisticated early warning system if cube/office configurations permit.
3. Belching isn’t polite.
4. Loud music is discourage.
5. Taking your shirt off when you’re hot isn’t a good idea.
6. Other human beings are not just FedEx employees, but coworkers.
7. Waste gas elimination procedure can be performed in workspaces other than your own now.
8. Sheepskin slippers are discouraged.
9. Shower daily before work. Don’t wait until lunch.
10. Always wear pants.