What's With the Flags?

Monday, June 28 2004

Carrie and I have been wondering how long the flags will be at half mast. We vaguely understand that the flags are down because of the death of a President, but we’re not sure who tells the flag owners how long to keep it up.

If I had a flag pole, would I have gotten the memo? Will they fly in full force on July 1? Maybe they’re still up because one flag pole guy sees the other guy’s flag at half mast, and thinks “looks like it’s a half mast day, again” while at the same exact time the other guy is thinking the same thing.

Or maybe I have it all wrong, entirely. Maybe there’s a flag hoister strike going on. It’s some kind of union thing. Fifteen tugs on the rope instead of thirty until wage disputes are taken care of. Rope shortage? Stronger gravity? Increased capillary action strength, as a result of global warming, resulting in accelerated oxygen uptake and consumption, requiring twice the energy to hoist the flag as normally required? It’s all too disturbing! I can’t handle it.