Stop Annoying Me

Monday, April 05 2004

Because I’ve been too busy to think of anything insightful or keen about the world I/we live in, I’m left with observations about myself and what annoys me. Nearly all of what annoys me takes place when I’m driving. Please take note:

I’m tired of people driving wobbly and soft pedaled when talking on their cell phones. None of their driving characteristics exhibit explicit control over their hulking mass of an SUV. They simply look stupid.

American’s don’t understand round-abouts (traffic circles), and therefore, should be enrolled in a course. We have several circles in our little town and no one uses their turn signals. I’m going to make a sign that says “Use your turn signals, or hordes of you will shrivel up due to severe and rapid dehydration. Using your turn signals keeps the fresh water flowing to your house, among other life sustaining things, such as the photosynthesis. And yielding doesn’t mean stop when no cars are coming. When no cars are coming, haul some serious ass please.”

If the speed limit is 45 mph, please travel at least 45 mph. If you travel at 40 mph in a 45 mph zone and I’m stuck behind you, my insides turn inside out.

Stop trying to race me. If you have a Honda with a noisy muffler, an Acura, a Mustang, a Chevy S10 pickup truck, whatever, quit it. I have a fast car not so that I can prove something, but because I like to spend the least amount of travelling to and fro. And I will smoke you.