collusioni.st

What Is It?

Thursday, June 26 2003

I think I have an interesting, perhaps clinical problem. It’s hard to make of what it is or why it is, but it certainly is. I’m becoming unmovable, unemotional. Something is deadening my senses, and I’m not sure what.

With one exception though: Leah is simply amazing to watch as she grows and devours the world. Her senses are on fire. You can almost hear the nueral networks building in her head. Perhaps watching her makes me realize how slow I learn things. She’s on the extreme end of things, and I’m not there.

I’ve been thinking that this whole “I can travel to and work from anywhere thing” has really taken a toll on me. I feel physically and mentally exhausted, and it’s not just the project, it’s everything about simply living in a place that is not officially home. I can almost feel empathetic about rocks stars who are constantly away from home and on tour.

A big change is in order, which is scary to suggest because that’s all my life has been in the last 5 years.

Or maybe I could just use some downtime, sunning myself on a beach, watching Leah devour her world.