collusioni.st

Working Like a Dog

Thursday, June 05 2003

This past week I have literally worked 16-18 hours a day. At Xerox we’ve had 8 month projects going live, and at home I’ve had deadlines to meet on other projects as well.

The thing is, with all of the pressure and work, I find that my motivation levels seem to actually be increased. When work is slow, my mind is slow, and I don’t feel like getting stuff done. But when at any given second during the day I can pick from a multitude of tasks that need getting done, it seems there is no obstacle whatsoever.

The question is: do I enjoy it? I do, to a degree. When work is slow, I feel like I’m spinning out of control. If there’s nothing to occupy me, my idle mind starts to go bonkers. But there’s also a lot not to like. I miss my family, even though I go home to them every night. I’m seeing a lot less of Leah and Carrie than I’d like to. I’m tired. My body aches from something, either the lack of movement or being on my feet all day speaking.

I’m also experiencing England in a far different way than I would if I were on holiday. I’m living and working here, and while it’s the same in a lot of ways, it’s so much different as well. I had my first wave of homesickness last week, and while it passed, it almost hurt. If things get particularly stressful, or if home seems far away, I get little waves of it as well. Luckily, all will end up well, as I’ll only be here until mid August, and some of the franticness of going live will settle down.