One time, in the bathroom, as Carrie was brushing her teeth and I was undoubtedly trying to annoy her, we both spotted a huge ant. Huge in relative terms. We’re used to little specks of ants, no bigger than a few millimeters in length. This ant was huge; at least a quarter inch long.
This morning, I spotted a gang of them in the kitchen, moving slowly due in part to their enormous-for-ants size. I can’t simply kill these ants with my thumb, they’re too big, and likely juicy. So today, I’m going to The Home Depot to get a hammer.
I’m looking forward to the day when I can control these ants, using microchips and a Nintendo controller. I’ll use them to carry laundry to the washer. Comb my hair. Weed the garden. Ants could be a very powerful force if controlled by man.
And army ants don’t count, they just kill and mame, and can’t be controlled by man.