Are You Ready Kids?

Sunday, October 13 2002

Aye Aye Cap Tan.

I can’t hear you!

Aye Aye Cap Tan!

Oooooooh Who’s tired of sifting through mountains of spam?


Hundreds of pointless emails a day!


If Nigerian nonsense is something you wish.


Then just check your email, and choke on a fish.

Mi-chael-Buff-ington, Mi-chael-Buff-ington, Mi-chael-Buff-ington, Michael, Buffington!

And I’m not too happy about people singling SpongeBob Squarepants out as a “”" target="_self">gay icon</A>

“. I think that’s about as stupid as calling Bugs Bunny a transvestite icon because he sometimes dresses like a woman to trick Daffy Duck. It’s as lame as suggesting Fred Flintsone is a heterosexual icon, as if I’d even stop to think “hey, that Fred, he’s certainly manly, and representive of all heterosexuals, I nominate him as Heterosexual Cartoon Icon of the Year”.

SpongeBob Squarepants is a pretty innocent cartoon, never even getting close to anything sexually related. The article linked above cites that because he’s male (which, is a hasty assumption considering sponges are asexual, a fact not passed over by the show’s creator, a marine biologist) and because he’s soft, and sometimes holds his best friend’s hand that he’s likely gay. If I were gay, I’d be offended by the association. It insults my intelligence first of all, and second of all, why the hell would I need a gay icon of a sponge cartoon? I’d want a gay icon with a little more significance.

Stupid. Let kids be innocent of anything sexual for once. Quit trying to cram sexuality and sexual preference down our kids throats. Quit making sex so important to children.

Now how’s that for a topic shift?