I Almost Got in A

Wednesday, February 27 2002

I almost got in a fight with two teenage lesbian smokers last night. This doesn’t happen on a regular basis so I should explain how and what happened. Last night I went to the Weezer/No Doubt/Offspring concert at the Long Beach arena, and between No Doubt and Offspring, two girls two rows in front of me began smoking. Now, normally I’m not a crazy freak about telling people to stop smoking around me, but damnit I paid good money for my seats and I wasn’t about to let them be inconsiderate to everyone around them. People sitting next to them and directly behind them we’re asking them to stop, and when the smoke started getting in my space I sort of snapped.

“Put out your cigarette!” I yelled. I cupped my hands around my mouth making a sort of megaphone, and yelled it in my most firm voice. I had to yell it three times. The third time they turned around, at which point I said, again, loudly, “Nobody around you wants to smoke. Take your cigarette outside or put it out.” They were ready to throw down. I didn’t know they were lesbians at this point (and really the lesbian thing is irrelevant, it just made for a good opening sentence). Their response to my yelling was “Well, that girl over there is smoking!”, which was the stupidest reason I’ve ever heard to smoke. I responded "Then she sucks too. Take your cigarette outside or put it out now!

That seemed to do the job. I was ready to climb over the row in front of me to invade their space like they were invading mine and put it out. I’ve never had to be so persisent in asking someone to stop smoking. Prior to last night, most smokers have been very polite and compliant when asked to stop smoking. They know their habit annoys others, and most people aren’t in the habit of pissing people off.

I may mouth off about smoking again soon, but it’s time to work.