collusioni.st

A Few Years Ago I

Friday, January 11 2002

A few years ago I got beat up by Test

from the WWF. I make no joke about it. It’s true. I’m not making it up. Erik and I were at some computer convention, and a company that made network equipment (I can’t even remember the name now), had a giant wrestling ring setup with those big puffy sumo suits in them, ready for two challengers.


Now, Erik and I aren’t idiots. We knew that by ensuring that we could wrestle eachother in those suits that our fun factor for the day would increase dramatically. So we pestered the booth people to let us duke it out. They said they’d pick us at the end of a presentation they were about to conduct, so we stuck around.


Once in the ring, we were helped into the suits, stood on our feet, and at the sound of a bell we were to try and pin eachother. Now, keep in mind, Erik is more than double my weight, so it might have seemed that he had an advantage over me, but it didn’t really make a difference. The suits hindered all movement. The most you could do was bounce in a general direction and hope for the best. That’s what Erik did the first round. He charged right at me, and before getting to me fell forward. I siezed that moment and tipped forward, pinning him.


The next round came, and my memories are a bit blurry about it, but Erik ended up pinning me.


The third and final round came, and I was poised to win. I was hopping about when suddenly I was going down fast! Test, the WWF Pro Wrestler who also weighed twice as much as me took a cheap shot to my back and close lined me.


My back has never been the same. This morning I was walking down my stairs, and zippow! An extremely sharp pain develops right between my shoulder blades. That damn cheap WWF wrestler. If I hadn’t signed a waiver, I would have sued him by now.